Okay kiddies.
I have been drawing, I'm just too lazy to have moved my scanner from the basement to my bedroom. Also meaning, that I am too lazy to make the trip from bedroom to basement everytime I want to scan something, and meaning that I'm too terribly inpatient to wait to upload and transfer files from my prehistoric PC to my laptop. Ya dig?

But really the point of this Journal was to better organize my trade list.

I know of some of you that have asked to do a trade with me, but my memory is less than stellar and I'm not really an organized person (despite what my horoscope says).

So these are the people I KNOW I have trades lined up with.
If I forgot you, let me know ASAP and I'll add you to the list.

:TRADES:

- sketch complete, needs color

- In Progress

- Concept configuring, sketching

- Not started


That's all I can remember off the top of my head.
Again, if you're not on the list I'm not trying to gyp you. Just remind me and I'll put you down for your spot.
Thanks for the patience guys, I promise I'll have art up soon.

***EDIT/UPDATE:***
Sorry I've been artless for awhile. It's not that I haven't been drawing, I just haven't been scanning.
I've got art off the balls, I just haven't had the time, or really even the will to upload shit.
I've got gifts and thank you's for several people, as well as some concept changes for Roko. (Even though I said I'd never change her) Yeahyeahyeah I know.

But fuck it. I'm eighteen. I have a meth head exboyfriend. Shit happens, things change.
On that aspect, and the point of the journal:

He's not getting any better. nor do I think he will any time soon for that matter. He got upset that I left him, so he upped it all to the extreme. Depression, maybe, but more out of hopelessness than anything else I think. Before I was at this stage where I wanted to help him, but knew I couldn't do anything to stop it, and now, it's to the point where I just couldn't care anymore.
I mean don't get me wrong I love the boy to death, but things have definitely changed between us, and I just don't think we'll ever have that level of trust like we used to.
And OH.
Don't misconstrue this to think that I'm back with him. I'm not, this is just me saying the likliness of us ever getting back together is slim to none. Which, yeah, I guess sucks in a way, but at the same time, what can you do?

I obviously wasn't enough to convince him that meth is just a wee bit past waay too fucked up for my taste, and his continued use of it isn't helping me change my mind any.
I guess really all I can do for the boy is hope and pray that one day he comes to his senses, or that oneday he can meet someone that can A.) keep up with him and his habits, or B.) have such an effect on him that he'll change.
Because that person sure as hell isn't me.

On a lighter note:
I'm getting a job at a local movie theatre. Not so great a job, or pay, I know. But the economy being what it is, I'll do just about anything if it involves a paycheck.

...Even though in someway I can't stint the feeling that I just sold my soul to a polo shirt and khaki pants. D:



But anyways. Art coming soon probably. And lots of it. Thanks for your support guys. I appreciate all of it.

***END UPDATE***




Okay guys, long story short:

I've recently discoved the gradual loss of the boy and I's funds is not because the economy blows my balls off, but because he's got a meth addiciton.

And he's got it bad.
Guys.
He's little already.
He's 6'4 and BARELY 145. And he's dropping weight like crazy.
I love the boy, but I don't think I can handle ignoring this. Not THIS.
I'm prfectly okay lighting it up on occassion, and I'll babysit him when he trips his motherfuckin' balls off, but this isn't FUN. This isn't a game, or a social drug. This is SERIOUS SHIT.
He's bi-polar already, God knows I'm not going to be the one to step inbetween him and this. I know what meth does to people, I don't want him going through that mess. I don't want to see him hurting so bad...I mean DAMN.

I don't know what to do, honestly.
I can't pay for rehab, and we've just lost our fucking apartment.
I'm a full time student, and I'm unemployed. My car needs a tag, and I have no damned insurance, so it's not like I even have that as a fall back for anything.

As much as I hate doing this, I'm going to have to cancel (for the time being) on the commissions I've asked for. I just simply. can't. Afford it right now.

I'll let you guys know if anything changes, just...to whatever God or being or deity you guys believe in, keep him in your prayers.
The kid's my backbone.

I NEED him.

Okay. So.


Hi Deviant Art.
I know I've been on and off and on again at least three times, but, I'm fairly certain I'll be staying active now.

I've started College and am basically running on my own time, so I should be able to handle this website a bit better than I have been the past- God, year?

I WILL NOT,however, be uploading all the stuff I've done from my hiatus 'till now. Because even though I may have more time now than before, I don't have THAT much time. I'm working on my degree in Zoology, paying for class and basically funding myself on my own at this point, So I'll be juggling quite a few things.
but I do want to jump back into the art scene, as I feel I've lapsed Quite far out of it.

If I owe you anything, PLEASE, let me know. I'll be sure to jump on to the task as soon as I'm able.



But anyways.
Hi. It's me.
Not that I expect much of a welcome, I just thought I'd post notice of my "return". more for my sanity than your own interest, but, Whatever.

<center>SO.




I have a tablet now.

Now i can actually attemp those super cool digital drawings!


Who's excited?
ME.

Wow, so, It's been eons since i've thought to even visit DA after the imminent demise of my computer.

Now that i've gotten it fixed--along with my scanner, I thought i'd pay this place a visit.
I do Say i miss it a great deal, the people included.
Without a doubt Deviant Art has been my main source of improvement since I joined here, and i'm contemplating as to whether or not i should start uploading here again.

The only thing is:
I can't figure out how to clear out my gallery.
If I do start to post here again, I don't want to embarass myself by having people look at some of the utter garbage i threw out as 'art'.

Does anyone know how to do this?
I'd be greatly obliged if someone could give me a little heads up.

Same thing with clearing my message centre.
I keep clicking the 'remove all messages' option, but..nothing's working.
And frankly, I am rrrreallly not looking forward to having to go and manually delete 8,000+ messages.

if i'm to do that I might as well open a new a ccount.
...Which by the way i'm not that interested in either, lol.

Hrm.
Anywas.
Love for the lot of you.
Mayhap i'll return.

VCL will inevitably still be my main source, but it will be nice to get into contact with a select few of you here at DA once more.
You know, just to show i haven't fallen of the face of the planet.

Much love,
_Roko